Justice League #7

Post a reply

Confirmation code
Enter the code exactly as it appears. All letters are case insensitive.

BBCode is OFF
Smilies are OFF
Topic review
   

Expand view Topic review: Justice League #7

Re: Justice League #7

Post by gary2692 » Dec 24th, 2014, 5:56 pm

conradoaccorsi wrote:
King Arthur Curry wrote:A pretty fun story! I'm glad Aquaman kicks major ass!!!!

Thanks Pieter! Aquaman > Everyone else.

MaxSchreck wrote:I really enjoyed it,too. Espacially the scene between Luthor and Bruce... I also liked how you tried to humanize the Jla a little instead of making the fanfic all grim and gritty like most of the Dcu is these days.
What you could improve however are your fight scenes. Maybe you could make them slightly longer and describe the combat in more detail. That would make your fanfics even better :)

Thanks Max! Yeah, that's something I always liked to make JL more like the Avengers, they are people too not just super heroes. And yeah, about the fight scenes, I'll take that in note.

gary2692 wrote:Funny and exciting. The Xbox conversation and the League watching a horror movie was class! However...
Don't put swearing in the dialogue. Especially with superheroes. It's just that I don't think Cyborg would swear, even in comic books.
Also, you said Metallo broke the Flash's leg. But you never brought it up again. You sometimes do things like this and then never bring it up again.

Thanks gary! Thanks for the tips especially about the swearing and about Flash's leg. About it, Cyborg is a teenager and I thought it would fit for him, but I guess it didn't, and Flash's leg, it's something I pretend to use in the next few issues, since it's my first issue I have a lot to learn and improve but thanks anyway.


Oh, I thought cyborg was in his thirties of something. But him being a teenager makes a little more sense

Re: Justice League #7

Post by conradoaccorsi » Dec 24th, 2014, 5:09 pm

King Arthur Curry wrote:A pretty fun story! I'm glad Aquaman kicks major ass!!!!

Thanks Pieter! Aquaman > Everyone else.

MaxSchreck wrote:I really enjoyed it,too. Espacially the scene between Luthor and Bruce... I also liked how you tried to humanize the Jla a little instead of making the fanfic all grim and gritty like most of the Dcu is these days.
What you could improve however are your fight scenes. Maybe you could make them slightly longer and describe the combat in more detail. That would make your fanfics even better :)

Thanks Max! Yeah, that's something I always liked to make JL more like the Avengers, they are people too not just super heroes. And yeah, about the fight scenes, I'll take that in note.

gary2692 wrote:Funny and exciting. The Xbox conversation and the League watching a horror movie was class! However...
Don't put swearing in the dialogue. Especially with superheroes. It's just that I don't think Cyborg would swear, even in comic books.
Also, you said Metallo broke the Flash's leg. But you never brought it up again. You sometimes do things like this and then never bring it up again.

Thanks gary! Thanks for the tips especially about the swearing and about Flash's leg. About it, Cyborg is a teenager and I thought it would fit for him, but I guess it didn't, and Flash's leg, it's something I pretend to use in the next few issues, since it's my first issue I have a lot to learn and improve but thanks anyway.

Re: Justice League #7

Post by gary2692 » Dec 24th, 2014, 1:14 pm

Funny and exciting. The Xbox conversation and the League watching a horror movie was class! However...

Don't put swearing in the dialogue. Especially with superheroes. It's just that I don't think Cyborg would swear, even in comic books.

Also, you said Metallo broke the Flash's leg. But you never brought it up again. You sometimes do things like this and then never bring it up again.

Re: Justice League #7

Post by MaxSchreck » Dec 24th, 2014, 1:10 pm

I really enjoyed it,too. Espacially the scene between Luthor and Bruce... I also liked how you tried to humanize the Jla a little instead of making the fanfic all grim and gritty like most of the Dcu is these days.
What you could improve however are your fight scenes. Maybe you could make them slightly longer and describe the combat in more detail. That would make your fanfics even better :)

Re: Justice League #7

Post by Pieter » Dec 23rd, 2014, 11:20 pm

A pretty fun story! I'm glad Aquaman kicks major ass!!!!

Justice League #7

Post by Batwoman » Dec 23rd, 2014, 10:53 pm

5 years after Darkseid's Invasion:
All the Justice League members are using blindfolds, they are going down in an elevator. The door opens and Batman says: You can untie the blindfolds already.
Flash removes it from his head and his eyes shine as he sees a giant base.
Batman: Welcome to Mount Justice, our new headquarters.
Aquaman: For Mercury's sake, that's incredible!
Wonder Woman: Great Hera!
Superman: That's... amazing.
Green Lantern: Is there a TV anywhere?
Cyborg: Please tell me you got an Xbox?
Flash: Do you have food?

Metal and Blood
Plotted by RedRobin1999 and conradoaccorsi
Written by conradoaccorsi

Everybody is already settled in Mount Justice, while Batman is still showing the place to Superman and Cyborg.
Batman: Over there we got Cyborg's Chamber, all the place is made of Promethium and it can adapt to your physiognomy and technology. It will connect you to Batcave's database and so, the entire world.
Cyborg: Okay, okay, but where's my Xbox?
Batman: The PS2 is on the third floor.
Cyborg: Hope it's not in Japanese...
Batman: Yes, it is.
Cyborg: F*CK!
An alarm screams and shines all over the base.
Batman: Computer engage protocol Alpha 11.
Superman: What's that?
Batman: The Javelin-7

At Metropolis Center:
Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen are on Daily Planet's Helicopter watching Metallo, who just escaped Stryker Island, battle the police and military soldiers.
Lois Lane: How did Corben manage to escape Striker Island? As reports say the prison had the entire Left Wing exploded releasing not only Corben but criminal masterminds such as Toyman and Atomic Skull. Is this an accident or a a plan from another criminal? The real question now is where is Superman? This is Lois Lane reporting from Daily Planet.
The helicopter starts to lose control and Lois fall off it, suddenly a blue blur catches her, it's a bird? it's a plane? Who else could it be? It's Superman
Lois: You're late...again
Superman: It's not my fault, Batman was showing me our new base.
Lois: You better take me there sometime.
Superman: Sorry, I can't hear what you're saying
Superman leaves her on the ground and flies to Metallo, he punches him right in the jaw.
Batman leaves the rest of the League on the park next to the battlefield.
Batman: That's your spot, time to leave.
Flash: What about you?
Batman: I got my own business. Take these.
He throws some communicators for Flash.
Batman: Now we can keep in touch.
He flies with the Javelin in to Striker Island. Wonder Woman pulls up a sword and a shield. She impales him by the back, Flash pulls a wire from one of his arms, Green Lantern creates a big baseball bat and hits him. He flies away and his arm suddenly falls off.
Green Lantern: Job completed before lunch time, who wants Burger King?
Batman (by communicator): Check him before making any conclusions.
While that Batman pulls a lantern and analyzes the left wing. He looks at the possible points where the explosion started, 4 spots. Looking at them, he can see a pattern. The explosion wasn't caused by these spots, the spots only where affected by the reaction, looking at the way they're blazed. It wasn't an explosion, it was a chemical reaction.
Batman: Acid?
He then realizes about an old Wayne Tech project that was stolen by a Lex Corp employee.
Batman: Alfred? Get me the name of all Lex Corp employees working at Striker Island.
Alfred: There are at least 40, sir.
Batman: Search for any connection with Derek Mitchell.
Alfred: The Corrosive Man? What does he have to do with this?
Batman: Just search Alfred.
Alfred: Over here, Anthony Mitchell, works at the noon shift as a janitor.
Batman: Get me his home address.

Back to Metropolis Center:
Green Lantern and Flash are cleaning the wreckage, Superman and Aquaman are helping the people while Cyborg searches for any radiation signature. Cyborg sensor starts to beep.
Cyborg: He's down here, somewhere.
Superman: Let me do it please.
He punches the ground and suddenly he's thrown away. Metallo jumps off and grabs Cyborg, he knocks him out and throws him at Green Lantern. His loosen arm grabs Flash and breaks his leg. Metallo jumps over Aquaman, but he uses his trident and impales him against a wall. The wall breaks and they fall inside the Metropolis Aquarium.
Metallo: What you gonna do fish man?
Aquaman: Kick your ass.
The aquarium breaks and sharks, mantas, all kind of fish simply jumps over Metallo.
Aquaman: I told you.

Lex Corp Tower:
Lex Luthor is watching TV as the Justice League battles Metallo.
Lex: Mercy, bring me some coffee.
Mercy: ...
Lex: Mercy?
He looks back, Mercy is on the ground, he looks back again and Batman is staring him.
Lex: What brought your presence here?
Batman: I know everything, about Mitchell and Corben. He told me everything and I recorded everything.
Lex: Yet, you can't connect him to me. But you know it's me. You're smart Detective but I got resources beyond your understanding.
Batman: I know pretty much everything about your resources. I will get you, Luthor.
Lex: Why you're still wasting time here? Shouldn't you be solving the crime of the century? Who killed Thomas and Martha Wayne? Where is Joe Chill, Batman? After all it happened at your city and who better than the World's Greatest Detective to solve it?
Batman: What do you know about the Wayne's murder? WHO IS JOE CHILL?
Lex: Help me and I'll help you. Give me the recorder and I'll give you this flash drive with everything you need to know to become world famous.
Batman: You can't fool me, Luthor. I can hack your computer and get everything I need.
Lex: That's the thing, this is the only copy I have. I can erase everything with a simple touch.
Batman: Take it, this is the recorder, I don't have another copy either. Now give me the flash drive.
Lex: Here it is. Pleasure to make a deal with you.
Batman breaks a window and jumps from the building.
Lex: Why every time they come my windows get destroyed? Do they even know what is a door?
Batman returns to Mount Justice, all lights are off and he hears a strange noise and sees a light coming from the Living Room. He sneaks up to the place only to see the League watching an horror movie.
Wonder Woman: How can you people be scared by these Monsters?
Aquaman: For Mercury's sake, he killed the poor woman!
Cyborg: I already saw the ending
Flash and GL: SILENCE! NO SPOILERS!
Batman smiles and leaves the place.

EPILOGUE
In the Batcave, Batman sits on front of the Batcomputer, he's reflecting everything.
Batman: Joe Chill was a street thief, he used to work with a man named John Corben.
He looks at a photo of Corben and puts it on the database, he identifies him as Metallo.
Batman: Corben was a street thief before becoming Metallo. He was in Gotham the night my parents were dead.
He pulls a folder called "Wayne Murder" and opens it, photos of the gun capsules, dead bodies and criminal profiles.
Batman: According to DPGC Database, Corben was arrested in the same night and was carrying a gun with the same caliber. Yet, John Corben had joined the army 2 years before and was at the Afghanistan at the time. Whoever Joe Chill remains a mistery, maybe a John Doe analogue? Not at all. Luthor managed to fool me, at least he thought my reasons were fame and success, not related to my family. I just need to know, what else does he have planned?

Next : Deathstroke

Top

cron