Batman: The Dark Knight
"Catch Me If You Can"
The White Rabbit has Batman in her sights, but the Dark Knight is too busy dealing with a Venom-enhanced Joker! But is that all there is to the story? The mystery deepens!
Batman smashes against the carriage door and quickly evades the Joker's huge hand right after. Luckily, the clown's hand is stuck.
Joker: Stop me if you've heard this one before. A bat flies into a speeding train and dies. I didn't say it was funny.
The Joker manages to pull his hand out from the door and continues to attack Batman. The White Rabbit watches happily from the next carriage.
Batman: You're not supposed to be here, Joker. I thought you decided to retire-
Joker: Sorry, Batso. Thought I'd come back and retire you first! Ah-hehh...A-ha ha ha ha!
Batman throws a Batarang at the Joker, it slices through his wrist, yet the Joker hardly feels any pain.
Joker: Ha! Heh...Y'know, I've missed you and your silly costume. You may be predictable and possess the imagination of an onion, but you're my onion and that's what counts! Come on! Hugs!
The Joker squeezes Batman against his chest, and smashes his head against Batman's.
The clown throws Batman back to the other side of the carriage.
Batman: Hhh...Don't get used to that rush of blood to the head. When it wears off, it's going to come out of your eyes-
Joker: On the contrary, my dear onion, I feel fine, and quite stable, considering I'm as habitually unstable as a rabid honey badger surfing on a jelly volcano. My lovely young lady here tells me the twerps in the nuthouse were just a test. I get the new and improved formula. Says so on the label.
Batman: Too bad it doesn't work on your acting skills. The real Joker is predominantly left-handed, by the way.
Joker: You're mistaken, Bats, I'm...I'm not...Nnoootttt ffuunnyy!
The Joker's body turns into brown clay and begins to melt and spread across the carriage. The eyes, nose and mouth transform into that of the likes of...Clayface!
In a last effort, Clayface swings at Batman.
Clayface: Grrahhh! Ukk!
Batman holds Clayface by the throat and smashes him into the damaged carriage door.
Clayface: Get away from me, you idiot...I'm not myself!
Batman: It's always the same story with you Clayface...Ehh...You try so hard to be other people...Hfss...But you can never keep it together...
Clayface looses consciousness and lies, motionless, on top of Batman.
White Rabbit: I like you.
The White Rabbit leans over Batman and moves to lie beside him.
White Rabbit: Poor baby. You look like a fast car drove someone into a wall. I think you could use a good mechanic. I'd like to kick your tires...maybe see what's under the hood.
Batman: Who are you...Why are you going this?
The White Rabbit takes out a syringe. Meanwhile, a red and yellow streak zooms past the moving train.
White Rabbit: Think of me as the girl that got away. That's what I do best. Now lie back and relax. This hurts.
The streak gets closer and the White Rabbit hears it.
White Rabbit: You got lucky this time, sexy bat. But remember, Alice never did catch the white rabbit. Now chase me.
The Flash crashes through the carriage wall and stops just in front of Batman.
Flash: Batman...your message came in ten minutes ago. Got here as fast as I could. You okay?
Batman: I'm fine...What kept you?
Flash: The usual. Buildings on fire...Giant space aliens. What happened to you?
Batman: A girl was involved. Did you see her leave?
Flash: Nope. I think you took one too many to the head. Come on.
Batman begins to get up.
Flash: Feels like I jammed my thumb coming through that wall.
Batman: And this is your idea of a rescue?
GCPD detectives examine the train. The Batman, Flash and Clayface are nowhere to be seen.
Forbes: What do you mean, "the train's empty"? How hard could it be to spot a bunch of freaks in costume?
Officer: Don't blame the messenger, Lieutenant Forbes. Train slowed down about five miles out, an' we got on board an' brought it into the station. No one conscious but a lotta holes in the walls.
Forbes: Shipley, the next sentence out of your mouth better be some good news I want to hear.
Shipley: No can do, boss. We pulled a few bodies outta the wreckage. AFIS I.D.'ed them as some of Clayface's boys. Don't look like Joker was ever involved. No sign of your boy in the bat suit, an' no sign of Clayface either.
Forbes is in a deserted alley with just his car and some others'.
Forbes: Let me tell you something, Shipley. If that clown, Batman, has compromised this investigation in any way, I'm gonna see he goes down ten to fifteen for this alone.
Shipley: Aw, come on, boss. The Batman ain't the bad guy here-
Forbes: I'll tell you who's the bad guy here, you got that? I decide! Me! Now I want to know who the hell tipped Batman off to this thing and where he gained access to the train! If someone's got direct channels to him, I want to know who!
Clayface, tied up, crashes onto Forbes's vehicle from above. Forbes leaps out of the way, avoiding shards of glass.
Forbes: Batman! I know it's you! I know you're up there!
Batman: You're a regular Sherlock Holmes, Forbes. Follow the clues and at this rate, you'll make detective.
Forbes: I'm not afraid of you, you freak! You have until the count of three to surrender to me, or I will open fire! One...
Forbes fires two bullets at the rooftop Batman was at, until realising he's not there.
Batman: For a crack detective you have a bad habit of missing your mark. I'm not the enemy. Not even yours.
Batman is behind Forbes, who drops his gun with fear. Batman grasps Forbes hand and begins squeezing it.
Batman: Now I'm going to tell you how it is. And you're going to listen.
Forbes: Aah...my hand...
Batman: If you mess with me, I'll find you and you'll never see me coming. If you compromise me work, I'll knock you down so hard you'll think you've travelled backwards in time. If you try to hurt my people, if you so much as hand them a parking ticket, I'll be in the first shadow you forget to check.
Batman lets go of Forbes's hand and prepares his grapple.
Forbes: Hhh...Is this what It's all about, Batman? You're running protection for rich little turds like Bruce Wayne?
Batman: Bruce Wayne means nothing to me. I'm Batman with or without him.
Bruce Wayne and Jaina Hudson sit at a table in a restaurant.
Jaina: I'm glad we could do this. I've heard you're a very busy man, Bruce.
Bruce: Never too busy to enjoy an evening at dinner with a beautiful woman.
Jaina: Oh, lordy. I think I read that line in an art of dating manual.
Bruce: Heh...well, at least I remembered it verbatim. Seriously, though...I'm more than happy you called, Jai. I'll admit I'm flattered you were the first to initiate contact after we met at your father's function.
Jaina: See, I could've sworn it was you. You know you flirted mercilessly with me, right?
Bruce: We should go out on my yacht sometime. You certainly seem to like fishing.
Jaina: Heh...Touché. I just like to get to know the mysterious billionaire's I have dinner with. I'm just rooting about a little bit. Kicking the tires.
Bruce: You know, you remind me of someone. Do you have a sister, perhaps.
Jaina: Why, Mr. Wayne! What kind of girl do you take me for? And here I was thinking you were a respectable citizen! For shame!
Bruce's phone begins to vibrate.
Bruce: Nothing untoward, Jai, I promise. I'm sorry. Would you excuse me for a moment, please?
Bruce checks the message on his phone.
"White Rabbit spotted four minutes ago near Robbinsville. Trust this puts question to rest. -A"
Jaina: Is everything okay? I hope it wasn't bad news.
Batman: On the contrary. Everything's fine. Crisis averted.
Jaina: Well, thank God for small mercies and lace panties. Now...are you interested in desert?
Batman, unmasked, sits at the Batcomputer. Alfred walks up behind him.
Alfred: Vandals and Visigoths at the gates. Lunatics on every corner and nary enough time to capture one before another appears. But one must start somewhere. A cup of tea, perhaps?
Batman: I've never seen anything remotely this complex. Its composite structure is based off Scarecrow's fear toxin but it acts differently. This substance effectively desensitizes the amygdala and hypothalamus, removing a subject's fight-or-flight mechanism from the equation. Instead of sending you into a rare paralysis of fear, it somehow makes you fearless.
Alfred: Hmff. I'll stick to me tea.
Batman: The subject becomes flooded with adrenaline, and eventually the body breaks down...venous and lymphatic systems...even arteries. Hence the bleeding eyeballs.
Alfred: Indeed. Did we manage to isolate the secondary compound in this marvellous poison?
Bruce: Ninety-nine percent probability it comes from this. The virgin star cactus, distantly related to peyote and also one of the rarest plants on Earth. Poison Ivy.
Batman pulls up his mask and makes his way to the Batmobile.
Alfred: I was under the impression young Miss Ivy was on our side-
Batman: She's supposed to be, old friend. But she's working with the Birds of Prey now, and I can't trust them. She's the only one who'd have access to anything this exotic. I'll have to go to her. Ivy isn't capable of something like this, not alone. But if she's been compromised in any way, there's no telling how she's react. Upload the results into my on-board sensors. I'll need to able to detect any traces of the toxin. Can't go this alone. We'll have to go in quickly and quietly-
Alfred: "We", sir?
Batman: Let's just say I'll be working with a friend.
Batman drives off in the Batmobile.
Batman and the Flash travel through the trees leading to the greenhouse. Thorns stick out everywhere.
Flash: This place is crazy. Are you sure Poison Ivy isn't?
Batman: I'm not sure of anything at the moment. Just be careful. I'm scanning for any trace amounts of the toxin's chemical signature here at Ivy's lab. It seems to be present in the ambient atmosphere but in small amounts. Means Ivy must be involved somehow. I can't quite calibrate to its exact signature.
Flash: I have a bad feeling about this...
Batman: Wait, the thorns!
The Flash pricks his finger on a thorn.
Flash: Ow! Gotta be kiddin' me. I think someone has it in for this thumb...
Batman: Flash, listen to me. Don't think. Don't question. Just do as I say, and do it now. Run.
Flash: I don't get it-
Batman: She put the toxin on the thorns. There's no time. It's going to enter your bloodstream. But if you run...
Flash: ...My heart may speed up enough so that I never metabolize the toxin.
Batman: It's our only chance. I'll get to Ivy. Now run!
Flash: Batman...I'm sorry...
The Flash runs away.
Batman: Poison Ivy! This ends now! Do you hear me?
Batman enters the greenhouse.
Inside the greenhouse, plants have died and trees are overturned. And there is no sign of Poison Ivy.
Next: Where Have All The Flowers Gone?
Also: Totally Tangled!
Batman: The Dark Knight will continue!
Batman: Detective Comics will begins in January 2015!
Batman: Files will begin in March 2015!
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